From the Alzheimer’s Diary
Because it wasn’t ever really what you cared to do,
you do it badly. You see to all the paperwork,
prescriptions, petty cash for laundry and
the odds and ends that keep things running.
Her aides see to her body’s needs, but
no one’s in your mother’s house to
sit with her and love her, to feed her heart
which keeps on beating, feeling, knowing that
sit with her and love her, to feed her heart
which keeps on beating, feeling, knowing that
it’s lonely. You wish you were the kind of daughter
who could care for her because she’d taught you how.
who could care for her because she’d taught you how.
Instead, you pass her building every day, in disbelief
you are still wounded by the ways she failed you,
you are still wounded by the ways she failed you,
clenching teeth to try and stop the tears,
you go to dinner with a friend, as if your heart’s not broken.
Whether through Shamanic practice, through ministry, or through art, Riva finds peace and practice in spreading love, compassion, and empathy for the self and others. 