Matters of Life and Death

To be awakened

From a dead sleep

By a ringing phone.

To hear your older brother

At the other end

Repeating to you,

Till you get it,

Till your mind

Discerns that

This is not a dream:

“He’s saying Kivi’s dead,”

You hear your own voice

Speak the words

So that your lover

Can perhaps explain

To you what’s going on

“He says a heart attack,”

As yours feels like

It’s going to beat a hole

Right through your chest.

Dead. The brother who

You haven’t spoken to

For years, the one

Who hurt you,

Shaped who you’d become —

No more the brother

You’re not speaking to,

Because you won’t, is

Now the brother

You won’t see again

Because you can’t.