5:33pm Incredibly, I’m past the halfway mark. I continue to feel increasing energy, easing out of joint pain, strengthening of muscles. And I continue to enjoy each and very spoonful of kitcheree. It is wonderful to have the support of a wide circle of people who are with me in many ways — some by participating in the fast in ways that work for them, all by holding space and by understanding that I can socialize with them anywhere I can bring a container of kitcheree.

With regard to my physical wellbeing, I’m not seeing what the benefit to me will be to stop eating the way I’ve been eating once the 40 days end on September 18 (maybe change up the mung beans and red lentils for aduki or pinto beans, but that’s about it). I know that current nutritional wisdom supports the idea of a varied diet, but this really works for me. It’s a framework that handles my food addiction — no choices to be made, the quality of my food assured. What WILL stop, perforce, is the circle of protection around these 40 days insofar as it is a spiritual journey, a Camino of sorts. Will the transformation as a result of this pilgrimage, dedicated to Tikkun Olam,* peace, and forgiveness, include making the choice on a daily basis to consume only those foods that support my highest self? I speak the following statement, morning and evening: “I release now and forever all patterns, behaviors, and beliefs, that prevent me from making healthy food choices.” The voice that would have me believe that a bowl of Rocky Road ice cream would serve me, chuckles in the background. In my growing up house, we used to call ice cream and other such things “neshama food” (food for the soul). Funny to think of that now, when my concept of “soul” is so different than what it was in my childhood secular home. To think that ice cream fed the soul… perhaps that’s why I kept at it, looking for the feeling I get, increasingly, from connection to Spirit.

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* I was asked recently in an email, about the kitcheree fast by a friend of a friend who had mentioned to her what I was doing. I wrote the following and include it here because I feel it expresses better than I have elsewhere what this is that I’m doing. It seems my understanding deepens as I move through the 40 days: “…this fast I’m doing has at its roots the startling awareness that my efforts at self-care mirror humanity’s egregious failings at caring for the Earth Mother. There is a complete disregard for Her body and Her being as The One Who Is Simply There — home to all beings and things, asking nothing in return for making this abundant home. Worse than disregard, humans ruthlessly and shamelessly commit unspeakable acts of violence against Her. So let it begin with me. My commitment to Tikkun Olam has brought me to this knowing: if I don’t care for myself as I would have the Earth Mother cared for, my sacred activism on behalf of the planet is just an empty gesture. And how can I possibly take on the care of my own 92-year old human mother with mid-stage Alzheimer’s if I myself am broken, much as she is, (and She, the Earth Mother, is)…”