2:03pm Ready for a nap. I tried taking a yoga class this morning and I did it without having a morning meal, thinking that all this great energy I’ve been having would see me through and I’d have the unique experience of taking a movement class on an empty stomach. I say unique because my anxiety about being feint with hunger has always had me eat before things like this. Then I get too full and am sorry. So here was a great opportunity to experiment with this growing new relationship with food. Midway through, I had a wave of nausea coupled with a twinge in my back that reminded me I’d been crippled with back pain less than a week ago. And so I stopped. I left the class, waited for Sivasana and congratulated myself for not trying to push through. I had a very deep Sivasana which was a gift and a blessing. I find it hard to value yoga nidra, though I should know better.

My breakfast was again delayed because I had a meeting scheduled for after the class. So I ended up have my first bowl of kitchari at about 12:15. And now I’m sleepy and will attempt a nap — something I used to really excel at, but now, not so much. I prefer the hyper energy. I’ve always been a bit of a speed freak!

7:57 An interesting thought came to me just now as I was contemplating the soon-to-be-upon-us Mercury Retrograde (August 20-September 12). I’ve noticed that, though I don’t know my left from my right, my sense of direction is excellent and I’m rarely lost for very long. I can also find lost things well (better for others than myself — for that, my younger daughter has the gift). It occurred to be that I have tracker medicine. Writing this blog is tracking a process. It feels daring but it also feels natural. It occurred to me that rather than be at the affect of pesky mercury retrograde, I’d do a ritual of protection and then track the three week period. Somehow bringing this sort of awareness to it makes it more interesting than frightening.

In truth, for me, there’s so much more time to capture thoughts when not focused on food! It really feels true that the purpose of eating compulsively, for me, was to keep it all quiet in there as a way to keep myself out of trouble. No more.