8am Well, my low back is really out now. I want to jump ahead, over the pain of it, over the healing of it, right to the lesson — what is this here to teach me? Yeah. Right. Really I want to jump to the pity party that has me dropping this whole ambitious and very publicly conducted 40-day plan. I have good reason to believe my acupuncturist will bring me some relief and I’m hoping to get a massage in the coming days. “How are you going to move a pot with 4 quarts of water in it?” the old internalized voice of doom frets at me. This is an old story, so many reasons to not move forward on plans big and small. Writing about it here will be my best defense against The Saboteur.

11am Me and The Saboteur are back from acupuncture. A lot of relief but still am having trouble walking and the thought of carrying the 4 quarts of water from sink to stove is daunting. I’m devising occupational therapy strategies so that there’s little or no lifting and carrying going to happen. I’ve also asked a friend, Jai Kartar, to come over and help. So this is going to happen with a lot of help. A LOT of help. And that, right there, is why I’ve made this public. Left to my own devices, and not meaning to be harsh or overly self-critical, when my body fails me, I’m a quitter. And quitting is just not an option for me this time! The only way through it is through it.

4pm Jai came over and we sat and talked. I noticed how much energy I have, how much sharper my thinking is, how much freer my breathing is. I got the next batch of Kitchari up and it was done by 1:30. I even sent some home with Jai, which pleased me because she has often brought me things to eat and this is the first time I’ve been able to reciprocate. By the time she left, I knew I could manage the pot. I’d filled it one measuring cup at a time. I’ve begun to think about tomorrow — the first day I’ll be observing the Ramadan fast. I set my blackberry appointment book function for the five prayer times and I feel ready. Now, I’m off, with a great deal of trepidation, to the CD release concert on the lower east side. But I’m such an Angel Band groupie. I’m dragging my hurting back and carrying a tupperware container filled with Kitchari and I’m off.

11:15 Just back from the CD release gig. Just fantastic! AND I survived without a meal out and anything but 2 bottles of designer seltzer to fulfill my drink minimum at the club. Much less hunger today! Had few bites of the portion I brought before I drove back up the Bronx. This second batch is tastier that the first. Another few batches and I’ll have it down. Now, I’m having my last bowl full of kitchari until tomorrow after sundown — tomorrow begins the three days I will joining the Ramadan fast. My clock is set for 4:38am which is the first of the five muslim prayer times. Another challenge!
As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم)